So you’re engaged, woooo!
But what’s next or where should we start?
Here’s a list of practical things to discuss as a couple before you race headfirst into the shiny world of weddings!
First thing and the most important… pop another bottle and just enjoy that engaged feeling.
Chat openly with each other about what you envisage your wedding to be. Is it an elopement for just you two, is it a micro wedding with 10, 20 or 30 guests, is it a midweek long lunch or dinner, is it a Friday or Saturday night, a legal ceremony only at a winery, or anything in between.
The next big question is guest list size. This will determine the venue’s that you start looking at depending on capacity.
Where do you want to get married or what are the aesthetics you’re looking for. Is it the CBD, McLaren Vale, the Adelaide Hills, Barossa, private property, Air BNB, regional, interstate or even overseas?
What’s important to you? Is it music, food, wine, family, a celebrant who sets the vibe perfectly, beautiful photos, your pets involved or anything in between. This is where you could prioritise your funds.
Research your vendors via Instagram, genuine recommended vendor lists, asking questions, at expos or catching up for a coffee. Great vendors will make your wedding journey a breeze and set the tone on your wedding day. Yes, you’re paying for their time and product, but you’re also buying experience, personality, problem solving, passion and so much more.
Chat about how you want your ceremony to look. Other than the Monitum (the celebrants legal wording), person A and B legal vows (19 words plus each person’s full names), the 3 marriage certificates and 2 witnesses required, everything else is an option. Chat about how you want to begin your ceremony, do you BOTH want to and feel comfortable to share personal vows during the ceremony, do you want to exchange rings, what music do you want, what do you want to be pronounced as (first names are fine), do you want a wedding party and anything else you want to/ don’t want to include.
Stay authentic to you and remember to spend as much time with your partner, friends and family as possible, the day will go fast. The number 1 thing people will remember from your wedding is… HOW THEY FELT! What was the vibe of the day, what was the energy like and what memories did they create?
I’ve popped in a few conversation starters, information pieces and options on how you can simplify your wedding day. If you have any questions please reach out on Instagram @matthewvercoe_celebrantandmc
Questions to ask your potential celebrant:
Here’s a few conversation starters to ask your celebrant in an initial meeting:
Where are you positioned during the ceremony? (entrance, story telling, vows, rings, kiss and exit)
Do you offer personal vow’s guidance or assistance?
Do we have to read personal vows?
What audio equipment do you provide/ use during the ceremony?
Do you have a spare PA speaker and wireless microphone?
Are we able to play our ceremony music through your speaker or is there an extra charge?
Do you check in with both of us prior to the ceremony?
How do we know when the ceremony is ready to begin?
What do you mention during your housekeeping/ introduction prior to the ceremony?
Do you offer a final meeting aka rehearsal?
Do you have any further resources or guides you offer?
How do you write or create our story and is it unique to us?
Will you give direction for guests after the ceremony for a group photo or where family photos are?
What music do we need for our ceremony?
Whilst your music choices should be completely unique to you, most couples are unsure where to start.
Here’s a very basic plan:
Pre ceremony playlist (1 hour)
Wedding party A entrance (1 song)
Client A entrance (1 song)
Signing songs (2 - 3 if signing certificates during the ceremony)
Exit/ congratulations (1 song)
There are endless other options however:
No music or entrance/s
Multiple songs for entrances
Wedding party B music
Client B entrance
Flower people/ pets’ song
1 song only for wedding party and Client A/B
No wedding party entrance - just client A or B or A and B together.
Live musician
Have you considered a first look?
What is a first look?
This is an opportunity for the couple to see each other prior to the ceremony. It can be a great release of emotion and nerves in what can otherwise be a heightened moment of your wedding. Generally, one person will be turned away
How does a first look?
The couple get ready separately, then prior to the ceremony they surprise each other with a great reveal.
Generally, one person, let’s use person B will be turned away and person A will approach them from behind and either speak to person B or tap them on the shoulder. Person B will will then turn around for a grand reveal for both parties.
This can be a quiet, beautiful moment to see each other for the first time on their wedding day.
If you don’t want to see each other, but are still nervous, you could do a first touch where you hold hands around a corner and speak to each other. Both parties can then split and meet each other at the ceremony space later.
These ideas can help with the nerves and excitement. Options also include reading different vows to the ceremony, the same vows as the ceremony, funny vows or exchanging a small gift (on brand, sentimental or sweet).
A few miscellaneous tips.
Shade at your ceremony is everyone’s best friend. Guest comfort can sometimes be overlooked, a cool comfortable crowd will party harder later at your wedding. Whilst a fully shaded ceremony space may not always be achievable, it’s definitely worth organising some large umbrellas or thinking about the time and location of your ceremony to best facilitate shade or a cooler temperature.
Wedding crocs, slippers or thongs at your reception are actually way more common than anyone is talking about. Your feet will get sore, so it’s best to have a plan in place and embrace these!
Zooper Doopers post ceremony are always a hit, and an even bigger win is ice creams on a dance floor. They cool your guests down, give them a sugar hit and who doesn’t love ice cream!
Go the long way during your reception entrance and embrace the chaos. A professional MC can help give you some tips to help on entry point, a path to follow and give instructions to guests to help with space and assist your photography/ videography team also. Move through the table of your guests, go all the way around and give a few extra high fives. The energy by getting around your guests is a real rush.
If you’ve got a wedding party planned for your ceremony. Have you thought about having them seated for the ceremony. That way they can be comfortable and see your reactions throughout the storytelling. They are still right there for support and cue tips.
Have you considered facing your guests during the ceremony? If your celebrant is off to the side, then you don’t have to face each other. Church weddings and celebrants in between the couple have left couples thinking they need to face each other. It’s so beautiful for your loved ones to see your faces and so you can see theirs also. I understand it can be daunting looking at all those faces, so if you want to face your lover, do it, but know this could be an option.
Pre plan food platters for all those getting ready and hydrate with plenty of water. Your wedding day is a marathon, and you want to cross the finish line sprinting!
Family photos. This is the part of wedding that always takes longer than expected. The best advice is to write very detailed lists with first names (and surnames if double ups) and have two photo wranglers to organise family members. This job is best for two people who know the family members, have good voices and a can do attitude. Your photographer, planner, celebrant or MC doesn’t know these people. It’s also best to text, email or call your family members in the lead up to let them know. Your celebrant should mention family photos, but family members love to wander to grab a drink.
Finally, just have fun. Let your vendors guide you and sit down often to take it all in. Also, if you want a cranking dancefloor, be on it!
The 4 key timings to begin building your reception run sheet.
1. ENTRANCE TIMINGS
What time are your guests entering and wedding party/ newlyweds entrances. These could be formal/ informal entrances depending on the type of reception you are after.
These timings could be determined by the time of your ceremony, venue, photography schedule, or just by you.
2. MEAL TIMINGS
What is your meal schedule, options include:
Canapes
Entree
Main
Desert
Cocktail
Pizza or food trucks
Or other.
Either way, your venue or caterer will have a food schedule, and it generally works to schedule around food.
Serve, eat, and clear works best for formal food service so guests are fed, not distracted, or making noise during formalities.
3. SUNSET/ GOLDEN HOUR TIMINGS
Are you having golden hour photos and what time of the year is your wedding?
Factors to consider when planning your reception run sheet:
Daylight savings has a huge effect on your golden hour timing. Golden hour could potentially be before the reception begins in the cooler months.
The location of your reception including distance from the coast, are you in a valley or hills and can you take photos onsite or need to drive elsewhere.
Seek sunset timings and photo locations from your photographer and venue.
4. CLOSING TIME
What time does music have to be off and/ or guests off site?
Work backwards from here to determine your final song or exit song.
Are you having a private last dance, sparkler exit, or a dance with your parents.
These factors all need to be considered when putting together your run sheet timings.
You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here! (Unless you have onsite accommodation.)
Once you have these 4 key timings, you can start to put together the rest of your run sheet.
What are the legal requirements to get married in Australia?
Not be currently legally married
Not be marrying a parent, grandparent, child, grandchild, brother or sister
Be at least 18 years old, unless a court has approved a marriage where 1 person is 16-18 years old
Understand what marriage means and freely agree to marry
Be married by an authorised marriage celebrant
Give a notice of intended marriage form to an authorised marriage celebrant at least 1 month and no more than 18 months before your wedding
Provide evidence of your date and place of birth (birth certificate, Australian or overseas passport)
Provide photographic evidence of identity (driver's licence, passport, proof of age card or official identity card)
Sign the notice of intended marriage in the presence of authorised witness (if in Australia: an authorised celebrant, justice of the peace, a barrister or solicitor, a medical practitioner, a member of the Australian Federal Police or the police force of a State or Territory)
Sign the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage prior to the ceremony commencing
Provide proof that a previous marriage has ended (where appropriate)
During the ceremony the authorised marriage celebrant must identify themselves by their full name and explain the legal wording, also known as the Monitum.
Both parties to use the legal vows (19 words plus both full names) in the presence of an authorised celebrant and two witnesses, who must be over the age of 18 years of age
On your wedding day, three marriage certificates must be signed by: you and your spouse, your authorised marriage celebrant and two witnesses, who must be over 18 years old
Following the wedding day, your authorised marriage celebrant must then (within 14 days of the marriage) submit your marriage paperwork to the registry of births, deaths and marriages in the state or territory you got married in.
It's important to note that you don't have to be an Australian citizen or a permanent resident of Australia to be married in Australia.
